Skorpio's Sting

Absolutely everything! That's what prêt-a-porter slaves always claims to be ready to do. And of course Masters and Mistress are always ready to give orders and punishments, in a sort of general BDSM orgy. Here comes the BDSM Circus.

Armies of utter slaves, entering your PM at the shout of "May I crawl at your feet, Divine Mistress?" And Stern Masters always ready to type an icy "down on your knees, you slut". But it's not a pure masculine sport: bratty or docile female slaves roam around the web always ready to bend at the words of a caring, but cruel Owner. And Mistress too, half looking for credit cards and paypal accounts, half looking for the thrill to have a male at their feet. And it's not a pure online phenomenon: just step in a BDSM club and you'll easily spot someone ready to flatten at your feet or change the shape of your ass. And they all call each other "Master, Mistress, slaves". But, what is wrong in all this circus in the end? Nothing really may be called wrong, however BDSM may offer something more than a hot feeling on the buttocks and a load of heel scum on your tongue.

Yes, hormones are always a drive, but what makes a difference between a human being and a dog in heat is precisely the control of our instincts, isn't it? So, *before* crawling back into the animal shape, maybe we shall involve the use of our brain on what we are doing. And a functioning brain will easily see how BDSM play is NOT something to approach with easiness. In a BDSM scene someone gives up on his own dignity as in toilet play, or his own physical safety as in piercing or ballbusting, on his perception of himself and reality - getting ready to be hit, bent, played. Sometimes getting ready for intense suffering as in whipping, for mental pressure as in mindfucking, for emotional hurt as in cuckolding, for freedom limitations as in bondage. Sometimes getting ready for self perception modifications (like feminization, object or animal role slavery) and of self perception in relation to others (in forced homosexual activities, worshipping, humiliations). On the other side, a Dom steps in the same field, facing the responsibility to manage those activities, and all the consequences. Does it looks like a funny and easy thing to approach to you? If so, please stay away from me and my friends.

I am not saying we have to write books and have years of training before kissing feet. But there is a middle way between that and jumping inside a BDSM club blindfolded begging to be enslaved by perfect strangers. And it's not even a question of a relationship: it's a matter of relation with ourselves. First step into BDSM is learning something about ourselves. And like it or not this side of it remains fundamental even when others are in the picture. I saw so many submissive starting at full force then finding themselves lost. Emotionally, mentally, sometimes even physically. So I always say: take your time. Do not rush, do not jump to conclusions, do not put all your hopes, dreams and passions in the first person you encounter - even if he / she seems to be the PERFECT DOMINANT or the PERFECT SUBMISSIVE. Live out your passions little by little, checking feedback from your soul, heart, mind and body after each step you take. And if something is not clear to you just wait. Time always shows things - especially about who people really are. Or what they are *for* us, at least.

Sometimes I'm accused of being a sort of moralist when I claim I don't like BDSM gaming clubs. Well, Well, those who say so either don't know me or are just trying to defend their business. Because it is one of the points I don't like about clubs: the business in them. I don't like to give money just to gather with friends - especially when it is for BDSM sharing. But the money thing is just one of the aspects. Deeper and far more fundamental is precisely the *goal* the adult clubs have, that is to provide a place for perfect strangers to meet and play BDSM. I think it is clear by what I just stated above what I think about casual play. Just let me know: how can a person "adore" another one if he does not know him/her at all? How can someone gain pleasure in humiliating someone he do not even know the name? It is clear that under such conditions everyone there is dealing with their own imagination, and people around just fit in that imagination - not differently from toys. Where's the power in being the masturbatory toy of someone else? Where's the sharing in it? So, that's what I definitely hate about BDSM clubs: they offer (and build a business on) a shortcut to USE others. And I don't like to use others nor to be used this way.

BDSM play is natural. Letting your desire to Dom or being dominated grow little by little, letting it express and shows up. Finally falling on your knees - or smiling at the ecstatic face of your submissive, are such precious and delicate moments I can barely describe the emotions I felt in them. Poetry is the right term to name them, not pornography. And this is precisely what I don't like about the BDSM circus we see all around: people do not approach BDSM with the patience, the attention and the responsibility it requires. People just want butts to make red, tongues to lick things, heels on their cocks, whips whistling around in the air and eyes all around to celebrate their exhibitionism. Its what runs from poetry to pornography. Be patient with this snob italian guy, but I am not calling it BDSM. I call it a circus.